this morning

yesterday night Abah asked for my height, I said 161cm, he said "tingginya" nope aku tak fikir banyak pun but its kinda weird bila Abah asked tht kind of question to me

today, this morning before gi kerja, he said "nanti bagi gambar kakak yang lawa kat Abah", "buat apa?" i asked. "Nak carikan kawan untuk kakak la". I  w a s  s h o c k e d. "Kakak takda kawan dengan sesape ke?" he asked. I pretend as if I'm not listening, searching for Ibu because yelah nak pergi kerja kan, so nak salam, but he kept on asking. Ibu tengah sembahyang pula so I can't salam so I stand there, he asked repeatedly. I answered him. Decided to tell him that I like someone but I don't know if dia ada the same feeling towards me. That's it and the following questions, like umur berapa, dia asal mana, tinggal mana, dah kahwin ke belum, kerja mana, macam mana kenal dia, aku jawab je semua. 

youknow what,
aku percaya if aku bagi gambar kat Abah, mesti akan ada yang suka punya dan akan ada yang datang nak kenal, and mesti punye akan ada yang sangkut dengan aku. In fact if Abah tak carikan pun, memang ada yang cuba nak kawan kawan, but I stopped them right there where they tried to knock. I'm not letting them in. Why? sebab aku tak nak

I'm so tired of letting people in and what they did was main mainkan perasaan aku, 
I want a real thing, a real commitment, a real relationship, real feelings, no more wasting time.

and I have my preferences too, babe rupa harta tak penting pun. If aku selesa dengan kau then nothing else matter. If I'm being me around you, nothing else matter man, nothing else matter, I just need to feel comfortable with the man yang I choose to live sampai akhir hayat aku, thats all I need and hanya ada certain kind of guy je yang aku boleh be comfortable with. If you know, you know. 

I stop here, satgi sambung tulis lagi.