Motivated

"Everytime I review my work with boss, no matter how many problems I have with it, I always end up feeling motivated after that." - tweeted by a friend I followed on twitter. I fav-ed and retweet-ed that few months back. Just done meting with boss and the rest, I am still feeling motivated right now. Despite of all the stress and problems I have around me. Still, I can't deny he is a great boss.

Something happened, I shall call it mess. A mess.

So, mess datang out of sudden. Disebabkan mess, fikiran aku agak terganggu pertengahan bulan lepas dan masih terganggu sampailah ke hari ini. Itu yang asyik meroyan tak tentu pasal, menangis tiba tiba, kepala serabut, kerja tak boleh nak fokus, mental block, benda kecik pun aku besarkan, macam macam lah. Pokok pangkalnya semua sebab mess. Mess ni adalah sejenis masalah yang aku tak boleh nak selesaikan, just hoping that Allah will protect me in any way that He can and hoping that He will give me strength in facing all these problems. Wallahi I'm not that strong. Itu sahaja lah buat masa ni.

So kerja aku memang sangat-sangatlah terganggu, ambil emergency leave untuk satu hari sebab memang tak boleh nak fokus, mata nangis tak berhenti. Masa tu aku cuma nak balik dan cerita kat abah je apa yang jadi. Itu je. Sehari tak cukup, I need more, probably one month. Memang September is a month of hell for me lah senang cakap.

Boss risau dan marah dan ntah apa apa lah lagi. Sebab performance kerja aku drop teruk, sampailah ke hari ini masih drop. Aku masih struggle, mencari kekuatan disebalik setiap sesuatu yang jadi sekarang ni. Slowly getting it lah.

Boss, I am feeling motivated every time after meeting you but one fine day I still have to leave the company. Just don't put high hopes on me.

Regards,
ME